Leslie Vernick
August 30th, 2016                                                                           
What's New?

 

  • Conquer Conference: Oct., 14th and 15th. Becoming The Best Possible You - Inside and Out. Join us for this amazing live event! CLICK HERE to get all the details and to register.
  • Our Walking In CORE  Strength 3 month group is starting September 7th. This is a great way to work with me one on one. CLICK HERE to learn more information. 
  • Facebook Live - Leslie will be doing a Facebook Live tomorrow (8/31) at 7:30 PM EST. The topic will be "How Do You Know When Someone Is Truly Sorry." Simply go to her Facebook Fan Page and see her at 7:30 PM tomorrow.  

 

 
 
 
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Do you Know How to Have Fun?

By Leslie Vernick
 

 

Having fun does not come easily to me. I know I’m not alone.  When my children were young, I didn’t know how to relax and simply play. I got bored and restless.  Being a first-born overachiever, I excelled at the doing part of life. But the letting go and having fun part of life—not so much. 

 

My attempts to have more fun always morph into a work project or an achievement to be accomplished. For example, I don’t play a game for fun. I play to win.

 

A few years ago I thought it might be fun to try flower gardening. I live on three acres so I had lots of practice space. At first I loved going to the garden center choosing plants, but soon it turned stressful. What plants do I pick?  What if they aren’t the right ones for my climate or soil? Did I read up enough on how to group the right plants together? 

 

And then there was all the weeding, deadheading, mulching, cutting down, transplanting, and edging. Gardening no longer felt fun. It felt like work and I already had enough work in my life. I soon hired someone to maintain my fledgling gardens.

 

This year my sister encouraged me to take a painting class. I love to doodle and all my first draft work papers and to-do lists are filled with squiggles and sketches. I especially like mixed media art where you can paint meaningful sayings on beautiful backgrounds. I signed up, bought all my supplies and looked forward to making beautiful pictures.

 

I threw my first painting in the garbage. My heart pounded as I tried to copy the teacher’s techniques. My creativity felt frozen inside my fear of failure (even though no one was judging but me).  This class was supposed to be relaxing and fun but instead I was turning it into an achievement, something I had to do and do well in order to enjoy it.  

 

During one class the teacher randomly put various colors of scrapbook paper and acrylic paint on the canvas.  She had no rhyme or reason for why she picked certain colors or textures other than they “delighted” her.  She was being creative, free to experiment, trying different techniques, layering various paint colors with paper and paper with stencils and stamps. She looked like she was having fun.  

 

But as I watched her I thought to myself “How do you paint a picture if you have no idea or design of how you want it to turn out?  How do you let go and have fun and simply watch and wait to see what happens next?” 

 

This idea of letting go of my agenda was foreign to me. I always have an idea, of how I want something to turn out.  As I watched my instructor “playing” with her paints and papers, I didn’t like how her painting was turning out. Yet she kept going.  At one point she said, “I really like this paper.”  But then she covered most of it up with paint.  But as she played something magical began to unfold on her canvass. The picture began to show itself. We could all see it.  And once it became visible, the teacher became more intentional, adding a few more strokes, lines, and colors that made it beautiful.  After she finished she said, “You can’t overthink art.  It emerges from somewhere deep inside you.”  

 

I decided to try that approach.  I told myself that I would have no pre-agenda to my painting. I was going to slap things down on my canvass however and wherever it delighted me at the moment.  I experimented with stencils and stamps, played with mixing various paint colors, sprayed water on my canvas and then let all the wet paint drip on the canvass until it looked like it was covered with giant pink tears.  

 

Some of what emerged I liked, most of it I didn’t, but I let it go. I kept doing what my teacher said, simply enjoy the process and do what delights you. And I discovered that what I didn’t like at first, now started to delight me as I saw bits of a previous layer peaking out from underneath the newest layer laid on top of it. I kept experimenting with different papers, various techniques, and every color in the rainbow.  I had nothing in mind other than to have fun playing by doing what delighted my soul and spirit.  And it worked.  I had fun, even if my picture had not yet emerged.   

 

This is what I am learning. Ecclesiastes reminds us that there is a time for work and a time for play. There is a time for a to-do list and a time to let go and be present to what delights you. 

 

And that is my new definition of fun. Being present to whatever delights me at the moment. Even when I do have an agenda such taking my daily three mile trek down the road, I have learned I can stop for a moment and smell the fresh cut grass or watch a bird gather bits of twigs for its nest. There is no work to that, just pure joy.  

 

As we near the end of summer and start our busy fall schedule, don’t forget how to have fun.

 
 
 
Is It A Sin To Not Trust Him?
 
 
Question: I am almost 3 years on the other side of my divorce and I still hear the arguments of my ex in my mind as to why I was selfish and unloving to our family by leaving. The latest hit was a few days ago when I heard someone reading the love chapter (1 Corinthians 13) on the radio. When they got to the part about love always trusts, I couldn’t hold back the tears because since I was a child, I’ve taken the scriptures so literally and if I was to err, I’d err on the side that would require me to change.
 

I desperately want to follow Christ. I was married for 20 years before I finally got to the end of worrying about ‘doing it all right’. I just knew I needed to learn to think for myself again and remember who I was.

 

I felt like I was about to go crazy if I stayed any longer. I knew it would be hell to go through (and it was!) but I couldn’t keep sweeping things under the rug in the name of ‘giving him grace’. Trust was broken time and again. I got plenty of apologies, but no follow through or making amends.If I tried to confront or tell him how his behavior was affecting me, I was told I was selfish, judgmental or condemning. I’m sure I could’ve come across that way because I was usually reacting in the pain of the moment.

 

Or I would try and try to show empathy, grace, and forgiveness, but resentment was still building up and instead, it eventually boiled over onto him.

 

I guess my question is narrowed down to, ‘why does love always trust?’ Or better yet, HOW does love ALWAYS trust?!

 

It’s so hard for me to even think about entering into another relationship because of the issues that I had to deal with throughout my marriage thinking that it was normal or expected of me to just ‘deal with it’ and keep going. In my mind, there was no way out.

 

Divorce was not an option. I can honestly say I loved him and wanted our relationship to be healthy, but how could I trust him when the same behavior and table turning continued? And how do I trust a man again after what I’ve experienced with the only man I’ve ever loved?

 

Answer: This is a great question because it shows us how easily we can get thrown off track with a Biblical talk that doesn’t take into account the big picture.

 

On the radio, you heard someone speaking on 1 Corinthians 13, where it says “Love believes all things”, or as the NIV translation states, “love always trusts.”

 

What that means is that loving someone puts a lens on your eyes that sees the best about him or her, that “see” that person’s potential and what he or she “could” become.

 

 

 
 
 
Connect With Me
 
 
 
IN THIS ISSUE
 
ARTICLE

Do you Know How to Have Fun?

 

COACHING 
Accepting Coaching Applications
Click here to get started.
 
WHAT'S NEW? 
Take a look at the upcoming events to watch for from Leslie
 
GIVEAWAY
Don't Quit. Get Fit.
 
LESLIE ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION

Is It A Sin To Not Trust Him?

 
 
COACHING INFORMATION
For more information on Leslie's coaching program, please click below:

 

Coaching Programs

 
 
GIVEAWAY
Don't Quit. Get Fit.
By 
Vicky Heath

 

Every day, people give up trying to get in shape because they buy into the lie that being healthy is as simple as eating less and exercising more. But living healthy for a lifetime begins with a change of mind, not just a change in what we do.

 

In Don’t Quit, Get Fit, fitness instructor and life coach Vicki Heath helps readers understand why they have failed in the past and shows them step-by-step how to develop lasting motivation for a lifetime of fitness. Readers will learn how to develop a healthy relationship with food and with their body, and will define their wellness goals using the one-of-a-kind Don’t Quit, Get Fit evaluation tool.

 

"Vicki Heath is an amazing woman! Page after page, her passion for God, for His people, and for a life fully committed to health and wellness shines bright. The book is full of encouragement and practical advice for those who need to find the right motivation -- "a sustaining motivation" -- for getting fit for life!"

 

- Christin D. 

 

If you would like to enter to win, you can click here to provide your name and email address.
 
Winners of Song Of Silence by Cynthia Ruchti are Sandy J. and Ernestina S.
 
 
UPCOMING EVENTS
 

September 15th, 2016

The Gatehouse

Dallas, TX

 

September 14th - 17th, 2016

AACC Marriage Conference

Intercontinental Dallas

Dallas, TX

 

October 1st - 2nd, 2016

Bethany Wesleyan Church

Cherryville, PA

 

October 14th - 15, 2016

Becoming the Best Possible

You - Both Inside and Out

Allentown, PA.

CLICK HERE to register.

 

November 3 - 5th

CMHC Summit Conference

Calvary Church

Naperville, IL

 

 
 
HERE'S WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT LESLIE'S WALKING IN CORE STRENGTH 
 

"I love her relaxed, respectful and carefully chosen words in addressing really tough issues in such a way we are encouraged to take ourselves more seriously and to not disregard our personhood. She has a kindness about her and a compassion that comes through with no effort.  

 

I have been encouraged, affirmed, received instruction and detailed steps to follow for application. I feel such a grateful heart."

 

- WCS Graduate

 

 
 
LESLIE WELCOMES YOUR QUESTIONS
 

Leslie wants to help you grow in your personal and relational effectiveness. Please submit your questions by clicking here.


Then, visit Leslie's Blog as she posts her responses to one question per week.


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Leslie Vernick PO Box 5312 Sun City West, Arizona 85376 United States