Quick Start Guide — Your Roadmap Forward

Friend, when you’re stuck in emotional confusion, every day feels heavy. You want clarity. You want direction. You want peace that isn’t shaking because someone else is unstable.

That’s exactly why the Quick Start Guide exists. It’s created to help you see your situation with clarity, understand what God actually calls you to, and find your next right steps grounded in truth—not fear.

This guide isn’t a quick fix— it’s a first step toward steady growth. 👉 Get your guide here: 👉 Access the Quickstart Guide here.

By Leslie Vernick

Friend, so many Christian women know the Bible well. They pray. They repent. They hold on to Scripture like a lifeline. And yet, when it comes to real life—especially messy, relationally complex life—faith feels thin.

You might be living under the illusion that hardness is holiness and sacrifice is always good. So you stay. You lean in. You bear more than you were created to bear. You become strong for everyone else—but weaker in your own soul.

Here’s the truth: God never designed you to be strong for everyone else’s sake.

He created you to be rooted in Him—so that no matter what’s happening around you, your soul can remain steady.

Scripture repeatedly shows us that God cares about your heart. Not just your endurance.

You were created with a mind to discern truth, a voice to speak truth, and a will to choose life. That means knowing when to stay safe, when to set boundaries, and when to seek help. That is not rebellion—it’s obedience to how God designed you.

Friend, you have endured much. You’ve tried harder than you should have. You’ve held when you should have set limits. You’ve hoped when hope felt exhausted.

God sees all of that. And Scripture reminds us that He will complete the good work He began in you (Philippians 1:6). But grace doesn’t mean staying stuck. Grace means becoming alive in who God calls you to be.

That’s what growth feels like:

Not always easy—

Not always comfortable—

But real.

And real growth begins when you stop believing the lie that you were made for less than God’s best for your life.

So ask yourself this today: Where have I stopped hoping for myself because someone else wouldn’t change?

Not to shame you. But to help you step into what might be your next right step.

by Leslie Vernick

Something Has to Change…

You can’t put it into words, but something is happening to you. Your stomach churns, your heart aches, and the tension in your marriage is making you feel weary and a little crazy. The constant criticism, disrespect, cruelty, deceit, and gross indifference are eroding your confidence and breaking your spirit.

For any woman caught in an emotionally destructive marriage, Leslie Vernick offers a personalized path forward. Based on decades of counseling experience, her intensely practical, biblical advice will show you how to establish boundaries and break free from emotional abuse. Learn to:

– identify damaging behaviors

– gain the skills to respond wisely

– promote healthy change

– stay safe

– understand when, why, and even how to leave

– recognize that God sees and hates what is happening to you

Trying harder to be a perfect fantasy wife won’t help fix what’s wrong your marriage. Discover instead how you can initiate effective changes to stop the cycle of destruction and restore hope for the future.

Two winners will be selected in our next newsletter! (Giveaway only available to U.S. residents)

If you would like to enter to win, you can click here to provide name and email address.

The winners of “The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope” by Leslie Vernick are LaMonica W. and Tillie E.

By Leslie Vernick

Question: I do not normally do this, but I am lost and broken. You see when I met my husband, we both were Christians, but I was hurt from a church so pulled away. This resulted in me going through the motions with church. My husband was much the same but for different reasons, however, once COVID hit things changed.

My husband connected with a fundamentalist church, and everything changed. All of a sudden I was expected to home-school my kids, quit my job, and drop out of my master’s degree for counseling since it was seen as worldly.

I was expected to obey and follow my husband at all costs and not doing so made me the enemy and unrepentant, dishonoring God. Furthermore, the church was controlling but my husband didn’t see it. They told me I was no longer allowed to come, they separated my family and encouraged us to spank our kids which I do not agree with. This has led me to lose my husband, and I worry, also makes me lose God. I have become angry with God. I have started to dislike Him if who the church says he is he truly is. I have also realized that I cannot save my marriage without submitting to abusive control, and I will lose myself and God if I do. I am just lost and broken and don’t know what’s next as I have no one left in my life who is there for me.

Answer: I’m so sorry you are going through this. I was hoping to do a more uplifting blog post for the New Year, but your question drew me in because it is so related to my last two blog posts, What is Spiritual Abuse, and How do you Balance Mercy and Strong Boundaries? Please read them as I won’t repeat what I said there.

You are facing a tough dilemma that many godly women in conservative churches are struggling with. The questions you must answer within your own heart are these: Is your husband your final authority for who you are, what you are to do with your life, and what’s true, good, and right? Is that how the Bible defines a husband’s role, headship, and marriage?

Continue Reading …

“I’ve enjoyed reading this book immensely. Although I haven’t stopped at the end of each chapter to answer questions, I plan to re-read and do that very thing. It takes time, but I find when I get into a book, I just want to see what it says first, then take the time for personal inventory. Very good read!”

Leslie wants to help you grow in your personal and relational effectiveness. Please submit your questions by clicking here.

Then, visit Leslie’s Blog as she posts her responses to one question per week.

Note: Due to the volume of questions that Leslie receives, she is unable to respond to every question.