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• That’s A Wrap: We had an amazing turn out for our Moving Beyond People Pleasing challenge. Thank you to everyone who participated. We look forward to our next challenge in summer 2022.

Stop Asking The Universe For Help

by Leslie Vernick

Last night I woke up in a panic about some things going on in my life. My first impulse was to pray, which was a victory because my usual default mode is to worry.

As I began to pray I was struck with the wonderful reality of a personal God. Someone who I can pray to, who gladly hears my night terrors, my worry list, my insecurities, doubts, and feelings of overwhelm.

Today we often hear people use the term “the Universe” to reference a cosmic benevolent force out there somewhere who will bring you what you need in the moment. I’m glad I don’t have to pray to the Universe. I talk to my Father who is in Heaven. His name is holy.

One of the most freeing lines in the prayer Jesus taught his followers to say is, “Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven” (Matthew 6:10).

Frankly, most of the time I don’t know how to pray. If I pray for this good thing to happen or this bad thing to go away, is that what’s best? Is that what I or my loved ones need the most?

I have learned that there are just as many temptations and distractions in experiencing the good things in life as with the bad things. When life is good I’m tempted toward pride, and self-sufficiency, sluggishness in prayer and lack devotion to God. I’m distracted by pleasure and comfort and opportunity and I’m not always conscious that my heart has lost its first love.

I have also learned that there are treasures in darkness. When trials and troubles abound, I am riveted to prayer. I feel helpless and humble and small. I am very aware of my need for God’s help, both in my inner life and my outer life. Even in the darkest moments he teaches me to “fear no evil” for his presence is with me. These lessons I would never learn in the light or when things are going well.

To surrender the outcome of my prayers and petitions to God’s will is comforting. I don’t know what’s best in the moment or for the situation but he does and I can rest in his sovereignty to bring that about.

So friend, I hope you don’t talk to Mr. or Ms. Universe whoever that is, but you have a personal relationship with a living, loving God who invites you to call him Abba, Daddy (Romans 8:15).

What Does Moving Forward Look Like?

Question: I have separated from my husband, and after much careful and prayerful examination, determined that he is definitely abusive. My problem now is this: We were only married 9 months when I left, and during that time I was constantly told I couldn’t talk to him respectfully or even answer a question to his satisfaction. As if in a normal, healthy relationship, I feel like there needs to be some sort of closure but have been unable to put my thoughts and feelings into words. All of his communication to me is accusatory and erratic, so I have no reason to believe I will be heard.

Do I just file for divorce or keep praying for God to give me the words when it’s time?

I want to heal and move forward in my life. I know God can do anything, but the huge amount of things that would have to happen for me to affect eventual restoration at this point just doesn’t seem likely. For my situation, I am more inclined to believe Leviticus 5:4 applies. I made a foolish vow when I married someone too quickly (no foundation) without testing his character and I need to admit the reality that I’m guilty of that and divorce.

Answer: I’m sure you are feeling unsettled. From what you said, talking in the past has only resulted in accusations and more crazy talk. Of course, you’re having problems putting what you want to say into words. Because what words will now be different than the words that caused his negative reactions before? Yet you long for some closure. Some conversation that would lead to a little understanding, insight, or even sorrow that leads to repentance. (2 Corinthians 7). But you worry if that happens, then what? Can he change? Will your marriage be different? Do you wait and hope and pray? Or admit you made a mistake and divorce?

Continue Reading …

What People Are Saying About Leslie’s Coaching

“You helped me learn stronger relationship skills as you walked with me through a difficult family time. While I didn’t always want to follow through with your suggestions, your biblical insights and support helped me take action.

It was not just me that was helped but my family as well since we have been able to renew our relationships and learn better how to communicate more clearly with one another in the future. My deepest gratitude to you as you helped me with the most important relationships in my life.

I will be forever thankful!”

–E.L.

LESLIE WELCOMES YOUR QUESTIONS

Leslie wants to help you grow in your personal and relational effectiveness. Please submit your questions by clicking here.

Then, visit Leslie's Blog as she posts her responses to one question per week.

Note: Due to the volume of questions that Leslie receives, she is unable to respond to every question.