Walking through the store, I heard a young girl about nine years old, whining loudly. She was following her mom from aisle to aisle, big crocodile tears flowing down her face. “Mom, I want it. Why won’t you buy it? Mom, pleeeease.”
As the mother went about shopping, ignoring her pleas, the daughter’s strategy escalated. Now sobbing, she howled, “Mom, I want it. I WANT IT NOW.”
The mother valiantly tried not to lose her temper. Finally, she turned to her daughter and said firmly, “Stop it! You are not getting anything today. You did not behave.”
My heart sank. Although this mother may have been correct in not rewarding her daughter’s misbehavior with a special treat from the store, she missed a larger opportunity to teach her child an important truth.
More things will not make you happy.
We live in a culture of “I want more” and believe “If only I had more, I would be happier.”
Even as adults, we’ve bought into this lie. Fill in the blank. Who hasn’t said to herself, “If only I had more ___________, then I’d be happy.”
If only you had more money, more time, a bigger house, a different spouse, and a newer car, then you’d feel happier. Right? Not really.
Research shows that even lottery winners don’t experience lasting happiness after big wins. No matter what we get, it will never be enough because as soon as one longing is satisfied, three more will replace it.
This little girl is growing up in a culture where we not only want more, we think we need more, must have more, and deserve more. Every television commercial reminds us that we should have more because we’re worth it or deserve it.
Entitlement thinking deforms our personhood as we become more and more self-centered and self-absorbed. Continually craving more diminishes our spirit and poisons our soul. Instead of feeling happy and grateful for what we do have, like the child at the store we feel deprived and empty. We grumble and complain because another person or God is not giving us more of what we think we need and deserve.
But hear me, friend. More isn’t better because more never satisfies. More just fuels our hunger for more and more and more.
How do we break free from the mindset of more? The apostle Paul tells us we must retrain our minds to think in new ways. (Romans 12:2). We have to realize that the world’s way of thinking is not only incorrect, it leads to misery and death.
Paul shares with us a secret that he learned while in prison that helped him reject the tyranny of more. He learned how to be content in every situation (Philippians 4:11).
We too can learn this lesson but it will take practice. Let me give you two disciplines you can begin, as well as teach your children to learn contentment.
1. Gratitude: The Bible says, “It is good to give thanks to the Lord (Psalm 92:1). Gratitude counters our entitlement mindset and helps us notice and appreciate the things we do have instead of constantly longing for more. Over the past two years, I’ve kept a daily gratitude journal. Fixing my mind on what I’m thankful for has reminded me more than once I have more than I need. On the way home from the store, this mom could have invited her daughter to think of five things she is thankful for. As she turned her attention toward her blessings, her daughter’s grumbling attitude may have changed.
Even when it’s hard to see the good in a particular situation, God calls us to give thanks in all things even if we can’t give thanks for all things. (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Mom might have been tempted to grumble internally about her daughter’s misbehavior and immaturity but retraining her mind would have reminded her instead to give thanks. Although aggravating, that teachable moment was a gift from God to help her and her daughter see things differently. They don’t need more to be happy. God has given them many blessings already.
2. Practice Simplicity: When our entitlement mindset looms large, consciously turn your heart away from more and turn it toward God in worship in praise. Praise thanks God for who he is and what he has given us. As we faithfully practice praising and thanking God, we learn to trust his character and His plan for our lives even when we don’t understand or like it.
The apostle Paul learned these tough lessons while sitting in a prison cell. Often, it is the hardest place where we are most teachable.
In this season of Thanksgiving and holiday shopping, when you are tempted to grumble and complain or just want more, press PAUSE. Notice you are believing a lie. I NEED more to be happy or content.
Next, turn your heart and mind toward all you have and all God has done. See what a difference this slight shift in your thinking makes in your daily well-being. When Jesus says that he has come to give us an abundant life, he didn’t mean a more prosperous life – but a more meaningful one.
