Walking in CORE Strength — Enrollment Is Now Open

Walking in CORE Strength is a 3-month coaching experience designed to help you practice emotional and spiritual strength in real life—not just understand it in theory. This isn’t about fixing your marriage. It’s about becoming steady, grounded, and clear, no matter what your spouse chooses.

Enrollment is now open, and class sessions begin March 2. 👉 Learn more and enroll here.

By Leslie Vernick

Many women I work with know the Bible well. They can quote Scripture. They believe the right things. They want to honor God with their lives.

And yet, when conflict hits—when emotions run high, when pressure mounts, when someone else is angry or withdrawn—their faith seems to disappear.

They freeze. They collapse. They over-explain. They give in.

Not because they don’t love God—but because they don’t yet know how to live their faith from a grounded, embodied place.

Real faith shows up under pressure.

James reminds us that faith without works is dead—not because belief is unimportant, but because belief that never reaches our bodies, boundaries, and choices doesn’t actually change how we live (James 2:17).

Many Christian women have been taught a version of faith that rewards compliance over courage. Silence over truth. Endurance over wisdom. Over time, faith becomes something you think rather than something you stand on.

But biblical faith was never meant to disconnect you from your mind, your emotions, or your voice.

Jesus didn’t just teach truth—He lived it. He spoke clearly. He set boundaries. He withdrew when needed. He stayed compassionate without becoming controlled by other people’s reactions.

That’s what mature faith looks like. Living your faith in real life means learning how to:

• Stay calm when someone else is dysregulated

• Speak truth without becoming harsh or defensive

• Say no without drowning in guilt

• Take responsibility for yourself—and only yourself

This kind of growth doesn’t happen overnight. It requires practice, support, and safety.

That’s why so many women feel stuck. They’re trying to apply spiritual truths without the skills or structure needed to embody them. They know what they believe, but not how to live it when it costs them something.

Friend, faith that costs you your sanity is not biblical faith.

God does not ask you to enable someone else to sin against you. He invites you into maturity—where love is truthful, boundaries are holy, and courage is guided by wisdom.

Walking in CORE Strength was created for this exact work.

Not to give you more information—but to help you grow up emotionally and spiritually in ways that actually change how you show up in your life.

So ask yourself: What would it look like to practice my faith—not just profess it?

That question might be the doorway to something new.

by Leslie Vernick

Leslie Vernick, counselor and social worker, has witnessed the devastating effects of emotional abuse. Many, including many in the church, have not addressed this form of destruction in families and relationships because it is difficult to talk about. With godly guidance and practical experience, Vernick offers an empathetic approach to recognizing an emotionally destructive relationship and addresses the symptoms and the damage with biblical tools. Readers will understand how to:

• Reveal behaviors that are meant to control, punish, and hurt
• Confront and speak truth when the timing is right
• Determine when to keep trying, when to get out
• Get safe and stay safe
• Build an identity in Christ

This practical and thorough resource will help countless individuals, families, and churches view abuse from God’s perspective and understand how vital it is for victims to embrace His freedom from the physical, emotional, spiritual, and generational effects of emotionally destructive relationships.

Two winners will be selected in our next newsletter! (Giveaway only available to U.S. residents)

If you would like to enter to win, you can click here to provide name and email address.

The winners of “The Emotionally Destructive Relationship: Seeing It, Stopping It, Surviving It” by Leslie Vernick are Martha W. and Marie W.

By Leslie Vernick

Question: My desires are to stay well, overcome evil with good, obey God, keep myself in the love of God, live out CORE. I have been seeing things as they are and have stepped back to observe rather than ‘try to fix’ by explaining, defending, encouraging and inviting us to work together since the last few years.

I have openly explained that he is free to be who he wants to be. No longer am I going to talk, talk, and talk to try to make things better when there is still not mutual respect, investment and care. I have slowly and lovingly said that I want the best for both of us and our marriage and that the best is God’s way but it takes two people to walk God’s way to make a marriage of God’s design.

I explained that it is time for me to take care of myself and to stop using my energy trying to change someone else when it is not within my power. I explained that ‘letting go is not me no longer caring but it’s me no longer trying to get him to’.

So I take care of myself. When he doesn’t allow me to have a voice, I walk away. When he speaks disrespectfully, I walk away. When he says something derogatory about me, I say, ‘sorry you feel that way’.

As of late, I quit talking all together unless extremely necessary. i.e.: (where did you leave the car keys?) I go out for walks, visit friends, etc. and no longer say where I am going. I make something to eat for myself, etc. I speak respectfully when I do need to say anything at all.

My reasoning for what I have been doing as of late is because I considered these things:

• Why would I converse with a person who controls when I can and cannot speak? ( As long as it’s superficial, I am free to speak all day. However when I confront him on a behavior that concerns me, he interrupts, gets loud, talks over me, blames, accuses, yells and says hurtful things )
• Also, I tried just talking about the events of my day and he responds as if all is well though cruel words may have been said by him the evening before (no apology) and he likes it that way and acts like all is well. I used to chase behind him for an apology because I always believed in accountability but more hurtful words were said by him each time I initiated the need for a sincere apology ( I was trying to hold him responsible and not let the sun go down on wrath and start fresh and not be a doormat) I no longer do this.
• He has often requested that I just let it go and move on but the things said and how they are spoken are harsh, uncaring, and mean (abusive) and not to be left unaddressed to destroy.
• I therefore stopped saying anything at all now. I don’t want to do things to control an outcome but I feel if I just never confront him and talk about superficial things (now that I stopped trying to change him)… I believe he interprets that as all is well and it isn’t.

So my question is this:

Is my not speaking except when absolutely necessary, living my own life basically, doing my own thing for now an unwise idea or a wise one? Should I handle ‘detaching’ a better way?

Two years ago I talked to him about the fact that all the things that I had suggested to make a beautiful marriage were only honored by me and not him so I invited him to initiate what he would like to do. He has made no attempt.

Answer: I’m sorry this has been so painful for you. Living with a spouse who does not desire to engage in anything more than superficial niceties can be tough. He interprets a lack of conflict coupled with superficial chit chat as “all is well”. You don’t want him to look at it that way and therefore stopped talking except for necessary conversations. And is that to protect you from further pain or is that to continue to “show him all is not well?”

Continue Reading …

“CORE Strength helped me stop reacting and start responding from truth. I didn’t become harder—I became steadier. For the first time, I trusted myself and felt aligned with my faith.”

Leslie wants to help you grow in your personal and relational effectiveness. Please submit your questions by clicking here.

Then, visit Leslie’s Blog as she posts her responses to one question per week.

Note: Due to the volume of questions that Leslie receives, she is unable to respond to every question.