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  • Save the Date: I am doing my next free training on Tuesday, December 5th. I will send out more details starting next week!

Happiness Isn’t Where You Think It Is.

By: Leslie Vernick

Is happiness possible? That may sound like a dumb question. Of course, it’s possible … if…

We all have an internal “if.”

How would you finish the sentence for your own life? “Happiness is possible for me if… “

Now finish this sentence: “I’m not happy because… “

Really take a few moments to answer those questions before you read on. Grab a pen and paper and write out your response.

I don’t want to take away from the real pain that may be held in the way you completed those sentences. And I’m not going to ask you to sweep your feelings under the rug with the wave of a Bible verse. But I am going to ask you to open your heart and mind to what I have to say.

First, let me make a concession. Happy feelings would be a lot easier to come by if our circumstances were perfect. But hear me. That is never going to happen. Not for anyone (no matter how it may look on Facebook or Instagram).

Here is a key truth I want you to remember: Life usually contains a “yea and an ugh”…at the same time. See, true inner happiness (more than just happy feelings) doesn’t involve the absence of pain. And it certainly doesn’t mean denying that pain is there.

Life can bring horrific pain: abuse, the loss of a loved one, financial devastation, broken trust, divorce, debilitating health issues, natural disasters, wayward children, the list is almost endless.

How can some people face excruciating life circumstances and still manage to live a fulfilling life and others, some with very little challenges, descend into depression and addiction?

Heartfelt happiness is the result of truthful thinking.

So many people think they will have happiness when they lose a certain amount of weight. But think about it. There are a lot of skinny, miserable people in the world, right? So, while you might feel better in your own skin, losing weight doesn’t equal happiness. Maybe you’re thinking you could be happy if your husband changed. And, while it’s true that life might be a lot easier, there’s plenty of women with great husbands who still struggle with unhappiness.

Happiness isn’t about feeling or looking fabulous and never feeling pain. It’s about feeling whatever pain comes into your life and transforming how we look at it, transforming our suffering into purpose so we don’t become crippled by it.

Lasting happiness has way more to do with your internal world than your circumstances. When your internal dialogue always has that “if,” you can count on never finding happiness. Because life will never be perfect enough.

That doesn’t mean you give up on goals or stop striving to make your life better. It means you stop looking at the finish line for happiness and, instead, allow happiness to be with you on the journey.

Book Giveaway


The Emotionally Destructive Marriage

by Leslie Vernick

You can’t put it into words, but something is happening to you. Your stomach churns, your heart aches, and the tension in your marriage is making you feel weary and a little crazy. The constant criticism, disrespect, cruelty, deceit, and gross indifference are eroding your confidence and breaking your spirit.

For any woman caught in an emotionally destructive marriage, Leslie Vernick offers a personalized path forward. Based on decades of counseling experience, her intensely practical, biblical advice will show you how to establish boundaries and break free from emotional abuse. Learn to:

  • identify damaging behaviors
  • gain the skills to respond wisely
  • promote healthy change
  • stay safe
  • understand when, why, and even how to leave
  • recognize that God sees and hates what is happening to you

Trying harder to be a perfect fantasy wife won’t help fix what’s wrong your marriage. Discover instead how you can initiate effective changes to stop the cycle of destruction and restore hope for the future.

Two winners will be selected in our next newsletter! (Giveaway only available to U.S. residents)

If you would like to enter to win, you can click here to provide name and email address.

The winners of “Taking Out Your Emotional Trash” by Georgia Shaffer are Lisa B. and Erica V.

Enter For Your Chance to Win

Finding Hope and Healing: Praying for a Godly Husband After Divorce

By LeAnne Parsons

Question: Is it wrong to wish and pray that God will bring me a Godly husband? I’ve been divorced for 3 years and I’m so lonely. I’ve never lived alone my entire life. Now at 64, is it even possible I could get married again?

Answer: The short answer to your first question is No; it is not wrong to pray for a Godly husband. God knows the desires of your heart, and seeking a loving, Christ-centered relationship can be a noble and sincere prayer. However, it's crucial to approach this desire with a heart attuned to God's guidance.

For Christian women who've walked the painful path of divorce, especially from an emotionally destructive marriage, the journey toward healing and hope can feel like an uphill climb. In this blog post, we'll walk this path together, addressing the fears and doubts that may arise with compassion, wisdom, and a foundation in Scripture.

In your heart's deepest corners, you may be asking, “Is it even right to wish for another chance at love?” It's crucial to acknowledge that, following a divorce, various fears, insecurities, and uncertainties will surface. Let's explore these feelings with the understanding that they are both valid and deeply personal…

What People Are Saying About Leslie's book – The Emotionally Destructive Marriage

This book helped me realize that by trying harder to make this marriage work, I was feeding my husbands selfishness and sense of entitlement. this is due to my peacekeeping and people-pleasing tendency which I need to fix.

What I love about this book is it ties in scripture beautifully and gives biblical examples of what marriage, headship, and submission looks like. She also has surveys you can take at the beginning. towards the end, she offers great advice on how to hold difficult conversations with your husband. Also, This book has many practical applications that can apply to any marriage.

This book saved my life!”

Meg B.


Leslie wants to help you grow in your personal and relational effectiveness. Please submit your questions by clicking here.

Then, visit Leslie's Blog as she posts her responses to one question per week.

Note: Due to the volume of questions that Leslie receives, she is unable to respond to every question.


Leslie Vernick PO Box 5312 Sun City West, Arizona 85376 United States