Called To Peace Retreat: I will be a key speaker at the 2025 Called To Peace Retreat. The event runs May 1st – May 4th in North Carolina. You can find all the details here.

By Leslie Vernick

This Easter season, I‘ve been meditating on how to make the presence of Jesus more of a reality in my everyday life. I firmly believe that if we knew that God was in us and with us, we would not be so afraid, or bored, so lonely, or lost. We would not be seeking pleasure in sinful ways, or stuffing ourselves full of food, or spending our money on more and more stuff, or looking for love in all the wrong places. Our lives would be rich and meaningful, and full of purpose and direction. Jesus told us, “I have come that they might have life and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10)

But truth be told, most of us, even as believers, don’t live in that reality. After Christ’s resurrection but before he left this world to ascend into heaven, he spoke five words to his followers that changed their lives. He said, “I am with you always.” (Matthew 28:20)

Let’s look at these five simple words more closely and see how they can change us too.

He said, “I am with you always.” Who exactly is making this claim? Jesus said this after his resurrection and the disciples were just beginning to see the big picture. He is not just their friend, their companion, their teacher. Nor is he a religious leader or future king of Israel. Jesus proved that he is the Son of God. He was raised from the dead. He is the great I AM. He is the one who is omniscient and omnipresent. He is sovereign, he is love, and he is good. It is HE who promises that He is with us always. The disciples realized “if God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31)

How about you? If you knew God, the great I AM, is always Present with you, what would you fear? How would you change? What would be different in the way you live today?

Not only is Jesus declaring that the great I AM is with us, but that he IS with us, right here, right now. He doesn’t say He will be with his disciples sometime in the future, or later on in Heaven but he says “I am (present tense) with you always.” If you believed that Jesus was with you right now, how would that affect the choices you make today? How would you feel differently?

Jesus told his followers that “I am with YOU always.” Every individual is important to God and “He will never leave or forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5) He is at your right hand. (Psalm 16:8 ) His Presence is promised. Paul speaks of that great mystery, “Christ in us”. (Colossians 1,2) The reality of that promise is not the biggest problem in our spiritual journey.

Our biggest problem is that we are not aware of his Presence. Do you remember in the Old Testament Jacob that had a dream where he heard the Lord promising that he was with him and would protect him? After he awoke from his sleep he said, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I wasn’t even aware of it.” (Genesis 28:16)

How about you? If we only could only see (be aware) that the great “I AM is with US”, it would make all the difference in how we feel, what we choose, and how we go about our day. Our step would be lighter and our eyes brighter because we would not only be looking at our day from our own vantage point, but we’d also have the eyes of God who gives each of us a wide angle lens on things. He infuses meaning and purpose into traffic jams and spilled milk, job losses and relationship pain.

Jesus said, “I am with you ALWAYS. Not sometimes, not only when you’re listening to him, not only when you’re good and faithful, but ALWAYS. ALWAYS. ALWAYS. He said he is with us when we’re sleeping and when we’re awake. When we’re in church and when we’re watching something we shouldn’t. He is with us when we are loving on our children and when we’re screaming at our spouse. He is with us in our success and in our failure.

Friends, my prayer is that we would learn to be more aware that HE is PRESENT ALWAYS. Knowing God’s Presence changes the way we respond to difficult and stressful life situations. We would not get so angry or aggravated. We would not feel so alone or rejected. We would experience peace, not chronic anxiety and worry. We would feel joy instead of emptiness. We would be filled with hope instead of despair.

Sarah Young, the author of Jesus Calling wrote, “A renewed mind is Presence-focused.” I like what she said. Start today. Remember, you are not alone or helpless. God is with you always. Let your mind dwell on and heart be filled with this truth. If you do, I promise, it will change you.

by Leslie Vernick

Leslie Vernick, counselor and social worker, has witnessed the devastating effects of emotional abuse. Many, including many in the church, have not addressed this form of destruction in families and relationships because it is difficult to talk about. With godly guidance and practical experience, Vernick offers an empathetic approach to recognizing an emotionally destructive relationship and addresses the symptoms and the damage with biblical tools. Readers will understand how to:

• Reveal behaviors that are meant to control, punish, and hurt
• Confront and speak truth when the timing is right
• Determine when to keep trying, when to get out
• Get safe and stay safe
• Build an identity in Christ

This practical and thorough resource will help countless individuals, families, and churches view abuse from God’s perspective and understand how vital it is for victims to embrace His freedom from the physical, emotional, spiritual, and generational effects of emotionally destructive relationships.

Two winners will be selected in our next newsletter! (Giveaway only available to U.S. residents)

If you would like to enter to win, you can click here to provide name and email address.

The winners of “The Emotionally Destructive Relationship: Seeing It, Stopping It, Surviving It” by Leslie Vernick are Kristie W. and Sylvia D.

By Leslie Vernick

Question: Marriage is a sacrament. When is ok to break that? I knew my husband liked “get rich” quick schemes when we got married 28 years ago. His spending and desire to “make it big” has continued all these years. He doesn’t know how to save. Both of us had less than ideal childhoods. Since the divorce proceedings have started, he is going to GA and I believe he is walking spiritually with Christ. We have adult children and a new grandbaby. It took me 28 years to discover the depth of his spending and dishonesty. I don’t trust him, but my heart is torn because I know he is trying hard to change. I’ve given him so many chances to be honest. In marriage counseling 3.5 years ago, he never came clean. When he looked at me and said, “I never intended for you to find out.” I left. I am hurt to the very core.

I have a guarded heart now and feel so broken. My family is 100% supporting me. They say he has never treated me right, he belittled me, he told me what to say, and always hovered over my shoulder. All these things I knew deep down inside but chose to block out. I never wanted to be a single mom. I don’t like divorce, and I take the marriage sacrament very seriously.

My children are not taking this well. I am so stressed through this whole ordeal. I’m losing my hair and I have lost 20lbs. I can’t sleep. My whole body is in pain. Does this get better once the divorce is finalized, or am I making a grave mistake? (I signed up for Conquer, but I don’t know if I can wait that long).

Answer: I’m sorry for all the pain and suffering you’ve experienced, both in your marriage as well as in this decision to divorce. For most of us, living with the pain we know is far easier than living with the pain we don’t know. Your marriage was painful, and you knew what that pain was for many years. Financial insecurity, coupled with his deceit, controlling and belittling words and actions towards you was your “normal”. And then you decided enough is enough.

You ask whether it’s okay for you to break the sacrament of marriage. Friend, I don’t see that you broke the sacrament. He did. Over and over again. Divorce doesn’t break the sacrament of marriage. Divorce is simply the legal declaration of that reality.

Your decision to divorce, however, has brought you a new kind of pain. Grieving what you always wanted but never got. Grieving what you thought was true. Letting go of the happy family story. Carrying false guilt around the divorce. Learning to live alone, make your own decisions, support yourself financially, make new friends, hold the grief of your children, deal with past childhood wounds, rebuilding your life – It’s a lot. ALL hard stuff.

Continue Reading …

“The Emotionally Destructive Relationship provides a critical first step down the path of healing and growth for those who find themselves stuck in abusive relationships…with no idea how they got there and no idea how to get out. Those who suffer in these relationships and those who want to help them will find a humble fellow–traveler in Leslie. As always, Leslie meets the sufferer and the sinner with compassion, truth, concrete direction, and lots of hope. I look forward to using this book with my counselees”

―Winston Smith, MDiv, director of counseling services and faculty member at Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation

Leslie wants to help you grow in your personal and relational effectiveness. Please submit your questions by clicking here.

Then, visit Leslie’s Blog as she posts her responses to one question per week.

Note: Due to the volume of questions that Leslie receives, she is unable to respond to every question.