Enrollment is officially open for Empowered to Change, our 6-month group coaching experience designed to help you move from old survival patterns into steady, lasting growth.

Each small group meets twice a month with a trained coach and a circle of women who “get it.” You’ll learn how to renew your mind, strengthen your boundaries, and rewrite the internal story that’s been keeping you stuck.

👉 Join Empowered to Change Now

By Leslie Vernick

The lights are twinkling, the music plays, and yet—something in you feels heavy.

You’ve started to wrap the gifts, attended the gatherings, and smiled when you were supposed to.
But inside, joy feels out of reach.

Maybe the man you share a home with barely shares his heart. Maybe this Christmas marks another year of loss, disappointment, or pretending. Maybe you wonder if God still sees you at all.

Friend, I want you to hear this truth: happiness isn’t found in perfect circumstances.

The first Christmas wasn’t picture-perfect either. A frightened teenage girl gave birth in a stable. A weary carpenter stood guard beside her. A tyrant hunted their child. And still—right there, in the mess of it—God was present.

Joy is not the absence of pain.
Joy is the quiet courage to believe that pain doesn’t have the final word.

So when the holiday noise gets loud, slow down. Take a deep breath. Ask yourself, Where is God showing up for me right here, right now?

Maybe He’s in the friend who checks on you.

Maybe He’s in the stillness of a morning when no one is demanding anything from you.
Maybe He’s whispering, You don’t have to earn peace. Just receive it.

This is the heart of transformation—the same heart behind Empowered to Change.

It’s not about controlling what happens to you; it’s about changing what happens in you.

You can learn to anchor your mind to truth instead of fear.
You can make choices from clarity instead of confusion.
You can rebuild your life—not perfectly, but powerfully—with God’s help.

Friend, your circumstances may not feel merry. But Emmanuel—God with us—means you’re never alone.

by Leslie Vernick

Leslie Vernick, counselor and social worker, has witnessed the devastating effects of emotional abuse. Many, including many in the church, have not addressed this form of destruction in families and relationships because it is difficult to talk about. With godly guidance and practical experience, Vernick offers an empathetic approach to recognizing an emotionally destructive relationship and addresses the symptoms and the damage with biblical tools. Readers will understand how to:

• Reveal behaviors that are meant to control, punish, and hurt
• Confront and speak truth when the timing is right
• Determine when to keep trying, when to get out
• Get safe and stay safe
• Build an identity in Christ

This practical and thorough resource will help countless individuals, families, and churches view abuse from God’s perspective and understand how vital it is for victims to embrace His freedom from the physical, emotional, spiritual, and generational effects of emotionally destructive relationships.

Two winners will be selected in our next newsletter! (Giveaway only available to U.S. residents)

If you would like to enter to win, you can click here to provide name and email address.

The winners of “The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope” by Leslie Vernick are Wendy U. and Carrie Q.

By Leslie Vernick

Question: My husband and I went through separation about 4 years ago. I made the decision to separate through reading your book The Emotionally Destructive Marriage. We got back together after two years of therapy but as of this year, the patterns of behavior have returned. And I feel as though we are back to where we were when we separated. How do I go about figuring out what to do next? If I stay, how do I stay knowing that this might be my life?

Answer: I’m sorry to hear that, but I’m not surprised. Change is hard. Maintaining that change over time is also hard. We are creatures of habit and can easily slip back into old ways if we are not vigilant over ourselves.

If you had a chance to watch the recent webinar I gave on “How Do I Know If He’s Really Changing, or Just Pretending?”, you would have seen this chart….

Continue Reading …

“Empowered to Change helped me see that I’m not powerless.

God used this group to renew my mind and rebuild my courage.

I’m finally learning how to live from peace instead of panic.”

— Sharon R., Graduate of E2C

Leslie wants to help you grow in your personal and relational effectiveness. Please submit your questions by clicking here.

Then, visit Leslie’s Blog as she posts her responses to one question per week.

Note: Due to the volume of questions that Leslie receives, she is unable to respond to every question.