Leslie Vernick
April 12th, 2016                                                                            
What's New?


  • FREE WEBINAR – Leslie will be doing a free webinar called “Healing The Destructive Marriage: The Roadmap ” this Thursday at 7:30 PM EST. CLICK HERE to register. 
  • Our Conquer Membership Site will be open on April 14th for new members. CLICK HERE to find out more information. Registration doors will be opened April 14th after our webinar.  
  • Give Her Wings is back. Their Spring Into Spring campaign is looking to help women who are escaping from physically abusive relationships. CLICK HERE for more information. 

Be All That You Can Be

By Leslie Vernick


I heard her before I saw her. She cheerily greeted each weary passenger while we waited for our turn to use the woman’s restroom in the Charlotte, NC airport.  She was the bathroom attendant and she took great pride in her work.


Immediately after a woman exited her stall, this attendant went in and wiped it down, humming Amazing Grace as she worked.


Each stall freshly cleaned for the next woman to use.  She wiped the sinks, emptied the trash, made sure there were towels, personal hygiene items, and even set out a dish of peppermint candies for those of us who needed our breath freshened after a long trip.


Person after person, hour after hour, day after day she served others simply by wiping toilets, sinks, and floors but she did it with amazing grace. 


Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once told a group of junior high students in Philadelphia…


When you discover what you will be in your life, set out to do it as if God Almighty called you at this particular moment in history to do it. Don’t just set out to do a good job. Set out to do such a good job that the living, the dead or the unborn couldn’t do it any better.


If it falls your lot to be a street sweeper, sweep streets like Michelangelo painted pictures, sweep streets like Beethoven composed music, sweep streets like Leontyne Price sings before the Metropolitan Opera. Sweep streets like Shakespeare wrote poetry. Sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will have to pause and say: Here lived a great street sweeper who swept his job well.


 If you can’t be a pine at the top of the hill, be a shrub in the valley. But be the best little shrub on the side of the hill.  Be a bush if you can’t be a tree. If you can’t be a highway, just be a trail. If you can’t be a sun, be a star. For it isn’t by size that you win or fail. Be the best of whatever you are.


This bathroom attendant practiced Dr. King’s words.


While I was in that restroom I overhead woman after woman compliment her on how clean she kept it, her cheerful attitude, and her extra mile service.  I’m sure the Lord himself smiled as he watched her practice Paul’s words, “Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.”  (Colossians 3:23).


She will never know it, but that day she inspired me to press on. It’s easy to get crabby or weary and do our work with an edge of resentment or attitude of entitlement. That’s not who I want to be or what I want to do.  I want to be the best possible me and do the best possible job for God’s glory.


How about you? Are you living fully or just existing, getting through each day but not very well? Are you doing your work the best you know how or do you settle for mediocrity? 


Let’s learn a lesson from this simple bathroom attendant and commit to do whatever God calls to do with excellence, with joy, with gratitude and with creative gusto. 


People notice even the small things when they are done with great love.


Why Isn't The Marriage 
Getting Better?

Question: I have been facilitating support groups for sexually sinful men for the past 14 years. We added a wives support group 12 years ago. We have had men referred to us by their counselor, pastor, or by their own wife. The deep stabbing pain a wounded wife feels over her husband’s betrayal is overwhelming. I am not able to understand my wife’s pain or entirely why she chose to stay with me in spite of the pain.


We are both glad she made that decision from the first day back in 1994.


Many of the men I deal with struggle with a level of narcissism that is often comical. Their childish behavior, the petty lies and the denial that he wasn’t as bad as other men does not impress a wife. On occasion, we are blessed with a man who gets it. He knows his actions will be the true indicator of how well he is recovering.


My question is this: If a husband is really working hard to win trust and he appears to be doing the right thing AND his wife refuses to trust him after months (maybe years) of anger, etc. What should the husband do next?


Answer: I am always thrilled to hear how God takes our worst sins and failures and uses them for His glory and to help other people. I am glad you and your wife have done the hard work of healing and are bringing the good news of restoration to other couples through your support groups.


Sexual infidelity strikes at the very heart of marital trust. I believe that is why it is one of the few biblical grounds for divorce. Trust is very difficult to rebuild once it is broken and it sometimes takes a betrayed woman a very long time to fully trust her husband again.


One way of looking at the situation you describe is that she may never fully trust him and that may be one of the consequences of his sin that he (and she) will have to live with if they stay married


Continue reading here ….
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Be All You Can Be


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Take a look at the upcoming events to watch for from Leslie
The Widows Journey

Why Isn't The Marriage Getting Better?

For more information on Leslie's coaching program, please click below:


Coaching Programs

The Widows Journey

Gayle Roper


Have you recently lost your husband? Are there days when you feel so terribly alone—and that no one else could possibly understand? Gayle understands.


As a recent widow herself, Gayle writes: so who am I now that there’s only one place at the table…one pillow with a head dent, one damp towel after a shower. There’s only one toothbrush in the holder. The seat is never left up anymore. I can still write Mrs. in front of my name, but I’m no longer in a marriage relationship. You need two people for a marriage and there’s only me.


Is there only you? Then join Gayle as she draws on her emotions during the loss of her beloved husband, Chuck, and offers you a compassionate devotional to encourage you through your darkest days.


Gayle knows a widow’s pain is deep. But she also knows God’s love is deeper still. And it’s in His love you’ll find your deepest comfort.

If you would like to enter to win, you can click here to provide your name and email address.
Winners of The Feathered Bone by Julie Cantrell are Peggy F. and Sandra S.

April 28th – 29th, 2016

Faith United Methodist Church

CLICK HERE to register




What do I love most about CONQUER group? Let me count the ways…You have been a blessing in so many areas of my life!!  You've been like a guidepost directing me into the Word of God. 


The CONQUER support and advise has been invaluable and sustained me during my many hours of heartache and trials.  A simple “thank you” doesn't seem adequate enough. 


Also, I've been able to share my experiences with other friends and family who are struggling and watching me during recovery. I love you all.”





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Leslie Vernick PO Box 5312 Sun City West, Arizona 85376 United States