Some years ago, my husband and I were flying to Florida for a much-needed vacation. After we dragged ourselves through security, we sat down to reassemble ourselves. Glancing up, we observed an odd and troubling scene behind the airport information desk.
“Inappropriate!” I said.
“Weird” was the word my husband muttered as we watched a uniformed male employee repeatedly stroke a female employee’s face sitting in front of him.
“Is he giving her a facial massage?” My husband queried.
“No. I think he’s putting some sort of cream on her face.” I said.
We shamelessly stared. “There must be some rules against employees publicly touching one another like that. Snap a picture with your cell phone,” I said.
We stood up to snap a picture and immediately saw things from an entirely different perspective. The woman was confined to a wheelchair. Her arms and hands were useless, curled tightly at her sides. Her fellow employee was tenderly rubbing moisturizer or makeup into her parched skin.
My heart sank. How quick I was to jump to conclusions and to judge his actions as wrong. How naturally and automatically I made up a story about what I saw when in fact, I did not see clearly at all.
At first glance this man’s behavior appeared unquestionably inappropriate. It was only when I saw things from a different vantage point did I discern that his actions were actually the opposite. They were kind, generous, and gracious. In the same way, Jesus repeatedly attempted to show the religious leaders of his day that everything wasn’t the way they thought it was.
Things are not so easily explained in terms of what they thought was lawful, or right and wrong. Perhaps they weren’t things as God would have them see.
For example, Rahab the prostitute was spared by Joshua because she protected the spies from being captured (by lying about which way they went) even though one of the Ten Commandments forbids us to bear false witness (see Joshua 6:25).
Jesus did not follow the Jewish law when the woman was caught in adultery as the crowd expected. Instead of sentencing her to death by stoning, he said “Whoever is without sin cast the first stone”
The Pharisees condemned Jesus as a lawbreaker when he healed on the Sabbath yet he challenged their deeply held beliefs by asking them, “Which one of you wouldn’t rescue a son or an ox on the Sabbath if they had fallen into a deep well?” (Luke 14:3-6).
Jesus taught that doing good, helping others, and loving well was more important to God than legalistic adherence to biblical law.
What does that mean to us? Every day you and I have the opportunity to peer into a small section of someone’s life-story like I did with the two airport employees. We make judgments and create stories (often untrue) of what we think we see.
Other times people may invite us to look into their life to give them advice or biblical wisdom about what they’re doing (thinking or feeling). We then judge it as right or wrong, biblical or sinful, godly or worldly.
At times I’ve been guilty of using the Bible as a rule book to find what God says is permissible and/or unacceptable. But even Jesus had exceptions to his laws and the laws of love, mercy, justice, and faithfulness always triumphed. As I listen to people’s stories I ask myself is there only one right biblical answer for every situation?
In closing, ask yourself some crucial questions when facing these kinds of dilemmas.
1. What is the whole counsel of God on this matter, not just one or two verses?
2. What is the context? Not just the biblical context but also the client’s life story context. We can’t just take a single observation and make a judgment upon it. Just as I was very wrong in my initial assessment at the airport about what was truly happening, sometimes we can’t always discern what’s right and what’s wrong. Changing our vantage point might open our eyes to an entirely different perspective.
3. What are the biblical exceptions? When were they permitted, or even sometimes commended? When the woman poured expensive perfume on Jesus’ head, the disciples judged it to be a waste of a valuable resource. Jesus thought otherwise and through this example, taught us that what seems right or even logical isn’t the only biblical way to make a good decision. Although what she did was extravagant Jesus said she’d always be remembered for her great love (Matthew 26:6-13).
In striving to be Christ-centered I am learning more and more that there is often more than one biblical answer. My job isn’t to judge or decide for another person what’s biblical or not.
Perhaps the best thing we can do is help someone view his or her situation from different vantage points, (for example, temporal, eternal, short term, long term), talk about what God might be up to in her particular situation and how to listen to the Holy Spirit so that she can learn to walk by faith and not by sight.
How about you? Do you tend to be “the biblical answer person” instead of helping your friend learn to listen for God’s voice for herself?
