Leslie Vernick
August 2nd, 2016                                                                           
What's New?


  • Facebook Live: August 3rd at 7:30 PM EST Leslie will be answering your questions and giving you the exact phrases to use when having difficult discussions. CLICK HERE to go to her Facebook Fan Page. 
  • Conquer Conference: Oct., 14th and 15th. Becoming The Best Possible You – Inside and Out. Join us for this amazing live event! CLICK HERE to get all the details and to register!
  • My Intro To CORE Strength starts August 10th. This is our most popular class. CLICK HERE for  more information + learn about our huge bonus. 

Are You A Peacemaker or Peacekeeper?

By Leslie Vernick


As much as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Romans 12:21


I hate conflict. It seems easier to just let something go, shove it under the rug, or put up with it than to risk disapproval or rejection by bringing it up. But I’ve learned that there are times in my relationships I have to be willing risk conflict in order to bring about genuine peace.


My girlfriend, Sharon, did something that bothered me and I couldn’t seem to let it go. I begged God to help me forget it, to lay it down, to forgive her, but I couldn’t. Eventually I found myself distancing myself from her because I’m not a good pretender. I felt hurt and was avoiding her because I didn’t want to be honest. I was afraid.


When you’re in this kind of dilemma, the only Biblical way out is the way of a peacemaker. You must be willing to enter into potential conflict in order to bring about true peace and reconciliation. Otherwise, the relationship will deteriorate because of unresolved hurts and anger. 


A biblical peacemaker always prepares for this kind of conversation with prayer. Ask God for his wisdom and a humble heart.


Next, write out what you want to say. By planning your words it’s more likely that they will communicate exactly what you want to say. Practice saying what you’ve written out loud. Notice your tone. Is to too harsh? Too weak? Aim for a neutral voice tone.  


Lastly, pick a time and place where it is most likely you will have the time and energy to talk this through. This is too important a conversation to do it on the fly. 


Is there someone you need to talk with to make peace? Go. Don’t put it off. Obey God and do your part. Jesus says, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God” (Matthew 5:9).



Should I Apologize To My Abusive Husband?

Question: Sometimes I was verbally abusive towards my husband. This came after mountains of neglect, rejection, and emotional abuse. I sometimes doubt my reconciling on this matter. I think my response makes sense under my personal circumstances and yet I acknowledge it is my responsibility to amend those ‘reactions’ to the abuse.


I am unsure if this is healthy to do especially with an abuser. In fact, I know it is not a safe idea but in the past, he used these moments as evidence of my weaknesses and it was a weakness but a weakness that came from neglect, rejection, and abuse. Am I an abuser because I responded to his gas lighting and other tactics with, sometimes, intensity? Would you consider speaking to this in an upcoming blog post? Thank you, Leslie.


Answer: I think we all can relate. At times I have responded to even minor incidents of disrespect or neglect with a sharp tongue. When my mother verbally abused me even as an adult, it was extremely hard at times for me to hold my tongue. But as a Christ-follower, we know that this is not God’s way.


So the short answer to your first question is that it’s entirely understandable and human to respond to abuse, rejection, neglect and gas lighting by others with anger and verbal abuse of your own. But as a Christian, we can do better.

Connect With Me

Are You A Peacemaker or Peacekeeper?


Accepting Coaching Applications
Click here to get started.
Take a look at the upcoming events to watch for from Leslie
Dwelling Places

Should I Apologize To  My Abusive Husband?

For more information on Leslie's coaching program, please click below:


Coaching Programs

Dwelling Places
Lucinda Secrest McDowell


Do you long for serenity and refuge, peace and hope? Are you seeking a deeper spiritual life through a closer relationship with God?


Through short and inspiring readings, McDowell unpacks a single word – such as mercy, beauty, gratitude, or grace – to reveal a biblical blessing or challenge relevant to where you are. Full of stories and illustrations to empower you to live the word you have just read, each devotional ends with a benediction, written as if God were speaking directly to you.


“As there are seasons of the year so there are seasons in our walk with Christ. In Dwelling Places, Lucinda McDowell takes us on a gentle sojourn through words that inspire, encourage, educate and magnify the Lord.”



-Debbie Macomber, #1 New York Times Bestselling Author 


If you would like to enter to win, you can click here to provide your name and email address.
Winners of the Conquer Conference – Becoming The Best Possible You Inside and Out are Teresa B. and Heidi L. 

August 23rd – 24th, 2016

The Village Church

Dallas, TX


September 15th, 2016

The Gatehouse

Dallas, TX


September 14th – 17th, 2016

AACC Marriage Conference

Intercontinental Dallas

Dallas, TX


October 1st – 2nd, 2016

Bethany Wesleyan Church

Cherryville, PA


October 14th – 15, 2016

Becoming the Best Possible

You – Both Inside and Out

Allentown, PA.

CLICK HERE to register.




“I loved hearing the words that CONFIRM what I have been going thru for so long is wrong, wrong, wrong! And the courage to bravely reach out to other women being kept in the darkness.


When I asked the Lord to show me how He saw me, I closed my eyes and immediately saw a small white daisy with light purple edges. I saw its petals opening. I know I am that flower opening, blossoming, with new found courage into the woman I really am. This class has taught me so much”





Leslie wants to help you grow in your personal and relational effectiveness. Please submit your questions by clicking here.

Then, visit Leslie's Blog as she posts her responses to one question per week.

Note: Due to the volume of questions that Leslie receives, she is unable to respond to every question.

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Leslie Vernick PO Box 5312 Sun City West, Arizona 85376 United States