1. People Pleasing:
You naturally enjoy making people happy. People gravitate to givers. If you are a person who loves to give, that’s great…as long as you also are free to say “no” without feeling guilt or pressure when you disappoint someone.
Get clear on what YOU need; on what you can do and what you can’t do, what you want to give and what you don’t want to give. Learn to handle others' disapproval or disappointment.
When you are unquestionably loyal to a habitual liar, a cheater, or to someone who doesn’t reciprocate loyalty, then your loyalty can become dangerous and harmful to you and others around you. Many people hate confrontation and conflict. We don’t like to speak up sometimes, even when necessary.
The Bible does say to love our enemy, but it doesn’t require us to trust our enemy or be friends with our enemy.
Toxic people love a “70 times 7” forgiver. Why? Because they can perpetually take advantage, abuse, and neglect you with only an occasional trite apology.
As a Christian, you are called to forgive. But that does not require you to be a perpetual doormat or to trust someone who has harmed you. Proverbs 25:19 says, “Putting confidence (trust) in an unreliable person is like walking on a broken foot or chewing on a broken tooth” Not smart.
Overlooking an offense is a great quality. We are not to be easily offended. Ignoring serious sin, being passive, or pretending it isn’t happening is dishonest, not biblical forbearance.
Get comfortable with being uncomfortable in certain situations. You must learn to speak up and sometimes stand up for truth and against injustice and evil.
Kindness with no boundaries is a recipe for being used. Did you know you can be kind and say no kindly?
Stewarding the resources of your time, your energy, your finances and your talents is not selfish, it’s biblical and wise.
A selfish person loves to be with a person who is willing to give up her needs, her goals, her feelings, her voice, and her very identity in order to make the other person happy.
Dying to self does not mean having NO self. It means dying to pride and ego; in other words, not being narcissistic. When you allow yourself to be worth less than the other person, you begin to feel worthless. When you are treated as an object to use (even professionally) instead of as a person, your selflessness not only hurts you, it also hurts the other person by allowing their selfishness to grow.
7. Naïve trust:
The Bible never says we should always trust everyone. We are called to forgive, but not always to trust. When someone demands forgiveness and amnesty, while continuing to repeat his or her sin, it shows you that this person who has broken your trust is not repentant despite what he/she says. (Proverbs 25:19; John 2:24; 2 Timothy 4:14-15)