I am in Florida – not so sunny today but a whole lot better than freezing Pennsylvania. I will be speaking in Sarasota on Friday evening and Saturday morning on Destructive Relationships. Come join us if you can.
Since I am trying to do a bit of R & R, I chose today’s question specifically for this week so that you all can answer it.
Today’s Question: I have been so blessed by your new book. I see my marriage described. I am looking at filing for legal separation. But I am shocked at how much it costs. I have no money available to me as I have been a stay at home mom for 16 years.
Finances are the main area my husband manipulates, threatens and controls in. How do other women get separated or file for divorce when they have no money of their own? The lawyer I have been referred to is very good and experienced as my case could be complicated. I am so stressed by this money thing. $5000 just to retain him! Any ideas?
Answer: One of the things I continue to be distressed at is the number of women who see that they are in a very bad marriage from year one yet don’t plan or prepare for a day in the future where they might have to support themselves, pay for a lawyer, or take care of their children.
Please don’t misunderstand. Yes, there are controlling husbands, kids that need to be cared for and life that keeps us crazy busy, but it’s important to think of yourself and acknowledge the fearful realities that might be in your future.
Therefore, in today’s blog, I want to invite the women who have “been there” to answer this woman’s question. How did you find the money to pay for legal expenses and/or go forward when you had no personal resources?
Secondly, there are those of you who did recognize a need to think ahead to the future. For our sisters who still may be living in a bit of denial, what steps did you take to prepare for the possibility that your marriage may not make it? Share your wisdom and even some of your mistakes.
I think we can help this woman move forward with your collective wisdom, tips, and even mistakes to avoid.
I love you guys. Thanks for helping this woman out today.