I am thrilled that so many people helpers watched the webinar that Chris Moles and I did regarding the 3 milestones you must master to work competently with those in destructive relationships. We had a lot of positive feedback and was very encouraged that there are people helpers who are wanting to learn more.
Today’s Question: I have been so blessed by your book The Emotionally Destructive Marriage. I see my marriage described in ways I never had words for. I am looking at filing for legal separation. But I am shocked at how much it costs. I have no money available to me as I have been a stay at home mom for 16 years.
Finances are the main area my husband manipulates, threatens and controls in. How do other women get separated or file for divorce when they have no money of their own? The lawyer I have been referred to is very good and experienced as my case could be complicated. I am so stressed by this money thing. $5000 just to retain him! Any ideas?
Answer: One of the things I continue to be distressed at is the number of women who see that they are in a very bad marriage from year one and yet don’t make a plan or prepare for a day in the future where they might have to support themselves, pay for a lawyer, or take care of their children.
Please don’t misunderstand. Yes, there are controlling husbands, kids that need to be cared for and life that keeps us crazy busy, but it’s important to think of you and your children’s safety and sanity by facing the fearful realities that might be in your future and take baby steps forward.
Therefore, in today’s blog, I want to invite the women who have “been there” to answer your question. Below are some legal resources to check out.
Friend, How did you find the money to pay for legal expenses and/or go forward when you had no personal resources?
Secondly, once you realized that your marriage was destructive, what steps did you take to prepare for the possibility that your marriage may not make it? Share your wisdom and even some of your mistakes.
I think we can help this woman move forward with your collective wisdom, tips, and even mistakes to avoid.
I love you guys. Thanks for helping this woman out today.
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