Leave a Comment
Ask Your Question
Have a blog question you'd like to submit?
Five Indicators Of An Evil Heart
As Christian counselors, pastors and people helpers we often have a hard time discerning between an evil heart and an ordinary sinner who messes up, who isn’t perfect, and full of weakness and sin. I think one of the reasons we don’t “see” evil is because we find it so difficult to believe that evil…
Am I Wrong To Consider Porn Adultery?
Morning friends, Are you merciful towards yourself? I bet even if you’re merciful towards others, you are hard on yourself – constantly beating yourself up for your shortcomings, flaws, mistakes, and failures. Being merciful towards yourself (or others for that matter) doesn’t mean you are self-indulgent or enabling of sinful behaviors and attitudes. But it…
I’m Newlywed And He’s Destructive. I’ve Separated But Do I Try To Reconcile?
Morning sweet friends, What a week I’ve had. Chris Moles and I had an amazing time at The Village Church. Pastor Matt Chandler and their entire staff were extremely supportive of our work and wanted to know how they as a church could do better. I was very encouraged by their humility, affirmation, and support…
Each time I tap in to reading your posting (Leslie) I feel God is personally using you to speak to me. I Divorce after 16yrs when I fought to save my marriage after my husband had 2affairs (to my knowledge). We remarry a yr later to be approach by the mistress for the next 5yrs (which is where I am today) with proof of still being in the picture. He wont confront her and has been advised by his christian "boy" not to. Leaving me feeling he is protecting her and/or denying it Each time my husband becomes a devotional Christian to then slack wih time. We've attended 1yr of Christian counseling attend weekend to remember retreat and I've done everything books, godly counselors and what I thought is right to keep this marriage together. I lost all trust and respect for my husband yet he claims God will not let n want this marriage to end. Ive become desperate doubtful regretful and vulnerable because I can't seem to get out of this relationship. Thank you because each time I read your posting it gives me hope and lets me know it's ok to leave a marriage that is not holy and the vows have been truly broken due to his selfish ways If I could afford your coaching services I would be the 1st to sign up as I see you would definitely assist me in finding the true godly path and guide me to the peace that God loves to give.
It comes as a shock, a devastating shock, when we are told or discover in some way that our spouse has done the unthinkable behind our backs. As painful as it is, her friend did her a kind favor. There is no other way to deal with improper behavior than to shed light on the truth and hold people responsible for their actions. When there is a third party involved it is difficult for the guilty to spin the issue.
Leslie you wrote: Monday, June 25, 2012
“You don’t say whether or not your husband claims to be a believer, but you may need to enlist the help of your pastor to confront your husband. Matthew 18:15 says, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.””
Protect, support and believe the victim(s) and hold the offender responsible in front of peer(s). In general the leaders of the Christian churches are not teaching and following God’s instructions on this issue. Abuse is kept secret, in the darkness and swept under the carpet. This is a big reason for the decline of the church.
This leads me to another thought. There are some abusers who have deeply ingrained and rigid issues with character flaws that they should be looked upon through a different frame of thought. If for nothing else than for our own safety. The diabolical and sadistic abuse stories that are leaking out are pure evil!
We’ve been warned to beware of the wolf in sheep’s clothing. If we become so naive that we believe that all people have good in their heart then we have been led astray. We have to be on the watch for the reds flags and protect ourselves emotionally by setting firm boundaries.
All people are not good/bad, there are some mingling in the crowds that are pure evil.
In addition to my last comment > Anonymous said…July 11, 2012 11:31 AM
I want to add two short, although incomplete lists to ponder.
-inability to really love and take care of others
-poor impulse control, impulsive behavior
-extremely low agreeableness
-cunning and manipulative
-lack of moral emotions- embarrassment, guilt and particularly shame
-boastful and arrogant
-greedy and exploitive
-oppositional and combative
-callous and ruthless
-lacks interpersonal warmth
SEEK OUT LOVING PEOPLE:
-Love people who are warm and have a track record of self-sacrifice for others.
-Trust only those who can control their own impulses.
-Admire only those who experience embarrassment, guilt and shame.
-Depend only on those who are dependable.
Thanks for the sensible critique. Me and my neighbor were just preparing to do some research about this. We got a grab a book from our local library but I think I learned more clear from this post. I’m very glad to see such wonderful information being shared freely out there.
Excellent site you have here but I was wanting to know if you knew of any user discussion forums that cover the same topics discussed here? I’d really like to be a part of online community where I can get feed-back from other experienced individuals that share the same interest. If you have any recommendations, please let me know. Appreciate it!
There is a contact page on the website, far right button. I’m noticing you are sending me a lot of e-mails. Please, if you are a spammer, or advertiser, stop. I will just delete your comments. If you are a real person who wants to say something, then do so in this venue.