Destructive Marriage
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What Is Emotional and Verbal Abuse?
Morning Friends, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Every year, I want to use this month to help bring some of what happens behind closed doors into the light. Here are some key stats: About 1 in 3 women who are murdered in the U.S. are killed by a husband, boyfriend, or former partner. For men who are murdered, it…
When Your Heart Isn’t Sure: Rebuilding Trust in Your Own Judgment
Morning friend, We have just closed our CONQUER membership with hundreds of women eager to learn how to change their own dance steps to become safe, healthy, and strong. One of the things we often see when a woman has been in an unhealthy or destructive relationship is that she loses trust in her own judgment. Now let me back…
When Doing the “Right” Thing Leaves You Feeling Confused and Inadequate
Hello Friends! This summer has brought more than just stifling heat to West Michigan. For several days, the smoke from far-off wildfires drifted into my area. The sky looked hazy, the sun struggled to shine through, and the air quality index deemed the conditions hazardous. For several days, people were urged to stay indoors. What should have been life-giving had…
Is My Marriage Destructive?
Morning friend, I’ve begun this year trying to practice something new. I’ll share it with you; maybe it will be helpful. Here’s the analogy. If you try to fill a small jar with 3 large unshelled walnuts and a cup of rice, success depends on the order you fill the jar. If you start with the rice, it will be…
Godly Separation: Navigating Finances, Fear, and a Failing Marriage
Happy September, Friends! September has always felt like a month in between, where one thing ends, but the next hasn’t fully begun. The air turns cooler, the days grow shorter, and everything seems to be slowly loosening its grip on summer. I feel that same shift in my spirit lately: a quiet separation from something familiar, but the picture of…
When You See the Truth They Can’t: A Mother’s Quiet Strength
Dear Beloved Reader, I’ve had a beautiful June so far—one that surprised me with healing in the most unexpected places. I took time to visit some of my old stomping grounds, and somehow, walking familiar paths reminded me how far I’ve come. There’s something about returning to the places that shaped us that also helps us reclaim and redeem the…
Why Won’t He Give Me A Simple Yes Or No Answer?
Morning friend, I want to give you an exercise to try this week. Ask yourself what feelings you would like to feel. When I asked myself that question recently, I thought, “I’d love to feel more peace and calm, be more thankful, curious, and have loving, compassionate feelings.” In the past, I’ve asked myself what virtues I’d like to have,…
How Do I Let Go Of Resentment And Stay Well When He’s Still Destructive?
Morning friend, I’m grateful that so many of you found the letter to your pastor or church leader helpful. If you end up using it and get a response, please let me know how it was received. Not everyone has ears to hear or eyes to see. But by their response, you will learn what your next right choice might…