Happy Holidays, my friends! Have you ever been given an unexpected gift that you really didn’t want? This month you may be looking to return some gifts or exchange them for things you like better. Or for some of you, you may be hoping for a good gift from a loved one only to be disappointed that you were overlooked. December comes with the potential for so much joy but also disappointment and hurt feelings when the outcomes are not what you have worked so hard to achieve. This month, I pray that you receive and experience the Lord in new ways. May you know in your hearts, Jesus is the best gift.

Today’s Question: I didn’t reap what I sowed. Can you explain that more please? Scripture tells us, you reap what you sow. I don’t understand this. I sowed love, kindness, teaching God’s word to my children and my daughter ended up struggling with depression, promiscuity, being addicted to substances and in rehab. My girlfriend raised her kids the same and her daughters are doing well. It can make me sad, angry, and jealous. I want to scream, “It’s not fair!” But, if I tell myself that life is not fair, then what am I to do with that scripture??? I DIDN’T reap what I sowed, so the Bible must be lying. How am I misunderstanding this passage??

Susan’s Response: I can hear the heartbreak in your words. A mother’s love for her children can be extraordinary. Love, kindness and biblical encouragement are certainly good virtues to pour into relationships. But what can you do when those virtues don’t cause others to live well or be healthy? Many people in the community may be having similar thoughts and emotions about relationship outcomes that don’t seem to make sense given what was sown into making them flourish. It isn’t fair.

God’s word teaches that true love allows for free will. It can be challenging to love well, especially someone who has mental illness, addictions, and makes reckless choices. Hope remains in that God can use all of that to draw your loved one to Him. Your daughter’s story can still be redeemed in magnificent ways. Yet still, it may currently seem like you are not getting rewarded for the good work you are doing and have done in raising her.

Let’s take a look at the phrase, “you reap what you sow”, together. Though its origins are biblical, the phrase has spread far beyond religion and morality. So let’s go back to its beginning to find clearer meaning. Here are some of the biblical references to sowing and reaping for you to consider and to be prayerful about:

Galatians 6:7 reads, “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.” In other words, don’t be misled; you can not mock God’s just nature. Nowhere in scripture does God promise that life will be fair in comparison to others, but He will always represent justice. The true meaning of this phrase is what Galatians promises; when you sow a life to the Spirit, you will reap the blessing of life with God forever. 

2 Corinthians 9:6 states, “The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.” Those who give generously will bear much fruit for God’s kingdom and in other ways as well.

Proverbs 22:8 tells us, “Whoever sows injustice will reap calamity, and the rod of his fury will fail.” This can be challenging to understand. In this life, evil can appear to prevail for a time. We can be sure that Jesus Christ has already conquered evil even though we don’t see the final results of that victory yet.

If we look at the Parable of the Sower in the Gospels (Matthew 13, Mark 4, and Luke 8), we learn that not every seed we sow will bear its own fruit. Because each person has free will, in this life they get to choose how they will respond to God’s undeniable existence. When you use your virtues to bless others, the seeds you plant may not bear fruit in a heart that has poor conditions for growth. It may also be true that you may not be the one to harvest the fruit or to be present to witness growth. Be assured, your godliness is impacting those around you in ways you can not know.

The first parents, Adam and Eve, shared the love of God with their children, and yet in a fit of anger, their son Cain killed his brother Abel. Abel had done the right thing and Cain’s cold heart was not right with God. God, Himself, spoke kindly and lovely to Cain and yet Cain had the free will to choose his own reckless path. 

We don’t yet know what choices your daughter will make in the future or where her journey will take her. We can be certain God, Himself, will be encouraging her to align her will to His and to mature emotionally and spiritually.

Sometimes the phrase, reap what you sow, gets tied to the phrase, what goes around comes around, or the idea of karma. These are not the same teachings. Karma was derived from Buddhist and Hindu traditions. That belief is rooted in the idea that the culmination of a person’s actions in this and previous states of existence decide their fate in future existences. This is not the concept of sowing and reaping.

The biblical meaning of sowing and reaping is not a guaranteed transactional exchange of “do good’ and “get good” in return. It does mean that your actions, whatever they are, will have a corresponding result. Those results will likely come in an unexpected way and in God’s timing. Therefore, “let us not be weary in doing good: for in due season we shall reap if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)

Keep pouring into her with love, kindness, and God’s word. We can trust that God’s word is true. Psalm 126:5 instructs, “Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy.” In His time, God brings renewal to those who are faithful to stand firm in their faith even through hardship. 

It is important to recall, that the believer can expect persecution and suffering as 2 Corinthians 4:17 proclaims. In your suffering, you may be angry at God for what you are enduring. I encourage you to talk with Him about what you are feeling. Allow yourself to grieve; I know this is not the story you want for your daughter. Remind yourself that God is still working and He is not done yet.

Friends, the final harvest has not yet happened. Are you prepared for the return of Christ? I encourage you to explore the scripture on your own. Experience God through His word with the help of the Holy Spirit. Believers will certainly experience joy in the presence of the Lord. Listen carefully; Joy isn’t dependent on the outcome we think should be the result. God’s ways are not our ways. John 4:34 reminds us that when our hearts and wills are aligned with His, the result is joy. 

Having negative emotions and thought processes is human nature. The harm comes when we get stuck in those negativities because that will change the direction of our lives and begin to deform our character. God calls us to something different. If you are feeling stuck and need to be empowered to change your life, join us for our 6-month coaching experience starting in January.

Be well!

Beloved reader, how have you helped yourself move through the grief, disappointment, and heartache that has come from lack of return on your investment into a relationship, without losing faith?