When Current and Future Trauma Feels More Terrifying Than Past Suffering: Faith Based Approaches to Challenges
Hello, lovely friends! Can you believe it is finally Spring? We are moving into sunshine, warmer weather, bird songs, spring peepers and blooming flowers. Spring is a sacred reminder that no matter how heavy winter is, the sun does eventually rise. It invites us to turn our pain into a garden of growth with unexpectant and surprising shoots showing up and moving us into stronger seasons to come. Spring is a powerful metaphor for the journey of growth and healing, especially when we face the complexity of past pain and current trauma.
Today’s Question: I can handle my past trauma and suffering. The present and future ones are terrifyingly unbearable.
Answer: Your question implies you have found capacity to handle your past trauma and suffering. While I am not certain how your past suffering compares to what you are currently experiencing, it is healing, when past trauma is no longer triggering and you are no longer experiencing intense physical and emotional reactions from your earlier experiences. This means that your brain and your body (your nervous system) are no longer reacting to past experiences in the present. When you remember the past, your brain and your body are now saying something like, “I made it; I am still here, that is over now”. This allows your body to settle in and live life in a far more effective way and this is good news.
Yet, when trauma and difficulties of a different kind appear it’s possible for your nervous system to reactivate and anticipate anxiety. Meaning you are thinking of it, looking for it and your nervous system is preparing and bracing for it. Living in this way triggers your body’s fight-or-flight response and the body lets you know it’s preparing for stressful events. This isn’t your body betraying you, it’s your body trying to protect you. It’s important to listen and respond to what your body is showing you. With regular and intentional action, you can make a difference in how you move through tough times and prepare your body for what it needs that may be coming up.
Please know if you are experiencing physiological symptoms, it’s time to act now. You can make a difference in your bearability as you move through these challenges. It does, however, mean you will need to be intentional and consistent. Here are some suggestions from my private toolbox. I hope you find them as helpful as I do.
If you are experiencing a racing heart or elevated blood pressure, trying 10 minutes of brisk walking three times a day will allow your body to release extra energy that is coursing through your veins.
Pair your walk with instrumental or ambient music, podcasts with soothing voices or guided meditation and you are working to renew and calm your mind. One of my favorites is Ricky Spears on Spotify (Find Rest, O My Soul).
Many times, our digestive system speaks loudly when we are under unbearable stress by causing nausea, stomachaches and acid reflux. For soothing the gut and quieting the stomach daily practices of 4-4-6 breathing (4 seconds in, 4 seconds hold, 6 seconds out). Remember, as you breathe out to imagine, letting go of images and thoughts holding you captive. Smaller and more frequent meals will calm your digestive system. Digestive pain can lead to overwhelming and greater anxiety.
I can’t say enough about the importance of movement and that may sound hard right now especially if you are exhausted and in survival mode. It is your body’s way to release the activation that fear creates inside. You have been through some painful and hard things and because of that you know we can and will suffer hard things. A difficult and certain truth is knowing God is allowing this suffering, so that you will learn to persevere, develop character and have hope. 1 Peter 4:12-13 informs us that God uses adversity to deepen our relationship with Him and to display His glory to the world.
Even though I would never choose suffering, we can determine not to waste it. You can bow to His wisdom and realize that since you are His beloved, we should not be surprised by this challenge. You can opt to ask Him thoughtful questions like these: “What are you teaching me through this?” How do you want me to respond to this?”, What character traits are you developing in me through this?”, and “How can I bring you glory in this?”. Trials have the ability to soften us or slow us down so our hearts and ears become open to hearing what God wants us to learn.
Finally, trust that God is speaking to you through your circumstances and that He will give you the wisdom, strength, and grace for each moment as it comes.
Friends, In the middle of what feels unbearable for you right now, what is one question you want to ask God—or one truth you’re trying to hold onto?”
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It also has helped me reciting in my mind all the ways God has been faithful and has helped me in The past .
Thank you for your reply Sally. This reminds me of Philippinas 4:6-8 which encourages thanksgiving to receive the peace of God to guard our hearts and minds.
Love this.
❤️
It turns out that my trauma gave me Conn’s Syndrome. My adrenal glands produced too much aldosterone which caused my kidneys to dump potassium. The symptoms are insomnia, heart racing and arrhythmia, muscle cramps, numbness, anxiety, hbp, etc. And of course chronic fatigue and brain fog. No amount of exercise or fancy breathing helped, in fact it made it worse. And, of course, caused me to feel guilty that I wasn’t doing something right, if only I…
This is more common than even doctors realize. Without potassium, you can’t function.
Thank you for naming this Connie. This is not well known and more common than doctors realize.
So how did you discover the Conn’s Syndrome? And what has helped?
I’ve done many years of research, going down several rabbit holes, but of course only been offered antidepressants or benzos, which made it worse. Of course, then the doc writes ‘noncompliant’ in your records and you’re hooped. I finally got a caring doctor who tried to help, but I had to ask him to test for Conn’s. The test is a simple aldosterone/renin ratio. By the way, years ago it was called ‘Broken Heart Syndrome ‘. 😥
I now take Eplerenone and Potassium.
It is also called PA, Primary Aldosteronism. There is a website called primaryaldosteronism.org
Thank you, Connie!
Connie, I hope you have found medical help. What I hear, I think, is that your symptoms were so overwhelming that doing things that you can control, like breathing exercises, weren’t enough to get you to a place of health. I think Diana is offering these suggestions as a place where anyone can start to move toward a healthier place, and feel an increased sense of agency in their lives. Reading between the lines, I wonder if you’ve maybe had similar experiences to mine and my daughter’s: serious dysfunctions, and doctors who don’t know enough and don’t care to learn, so they say they have nothing for you. My daughter has had to self diagnose several serious genetic disorders; it’s taken years to get the testing she needs and find doctors who will attempt treatment. It was never “ all in her head”, as so many medical people excuse their lack of knowledge or interest. She has also benefited from a good therapist; the frustration and inability to manage her medical needs made therapy helpful.
I hope you are encouraged in this space, and can keep moving forward. It sounds like you’ve done your own research. Please try to release any blame toward yourself; you ARE doing the right things!
“Bearability” – I love that word. This response today is so timely for what I’ve been walking and growing through the past 2 months.
That is so wonderful to hear! Thank you for the kind words about the term bearability; it’s a favorite of mine, too.I’m thrilled that the post felt timely for you—I always hope to share the right message right when it’s needed most. I appreciate you taking the time to let me know!
Such timely wisdom and guidance for me. Thank you for the t knowledge and words of what I am feeling.
I am so grateful this is timely for you. I am glad you felt seen in what you are feeling. You are not alone.
Very helpful tools! Thank you!
I am so thankful i learned to self soothe over the years. I used to actually feel faint when he would go off on a rage rant or come at me with accusations out of the blue. My adrenal system was taxed to the max. The breathing, physical, mental, social, and spiritual self care got me to the point where I could still function and stay calm and above it all when it was happening. Then I learned how to simply remove myself from the conversation, from the room and from the toxic words he would throw at me. I then got strong enough to leave and while it’s still very fresh and recent and hard, I remind myself that I don’t ever have to be in a relationship with that again. My nervous system can rest.