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Part 2 – Continued discussion about how to respond in marital distress

By Leslie Vernick | February 22, 2010 |

In this week’s blog I’m not going to answer a new question, but rather I want to continue the discussion Amy and Anonymous have generated from last week’s question. So if you haven’t read last week’s question and answer, scroll down to read it because the way we think about these things is critical. Anonymous felt angry after reading the…

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My husband says he’s divorcing me but still wants sex. Do I have to?

By Leslie Vernick | February 15, 2010 |

Last week we had quite a number of interesting responses to my blog post answering the question of whether or not to give her husband another chance. I even got a response in Chinese although I’m sorry that I can’t read it and don’t know anyone who can translate it for me. But it’s encouraging to hear people’s experiences and…

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How do I honor an abusive father for Father’s day?

By Leslie Vernick | June 15, 2009 |

Father’s Day is coming up and I don’t know what to do. How do I biblically honor a father who was physically and sexually abusive my entire life? I want nothing to do with him and I’m still afraid of him. Does God tell me to try to have some sort of relationship? First, let me say I am sorry…

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My husband is disinterested in me and the kids. What can I do?

By Leslie Vernick | June 2, 2009 |

Q. I’ve been married to a man I dearly love. The years have not been easy and we have both made terrible choices. Right after our second child was born, our oldest was diagnosed with cancer. My husband cared for the baby while I stayed at the hospital with our sick child and came home on the weekends. This took…

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My husband forces me to do sexual things I don’t want to

By Leslie Vernick | March 16, 2009 |

Q. How should a wife handle a spouse that continually pressures her to use the f— word during sex because it excites him. I’ve already told him lots of times I don’t like to do that. I was sexually abused as a child and I don’t feel that the f— word is a positive word to bring into our sexual…

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I caught my husband chatting on the internet. Help

By Leslie Vernick | January 26, 2009 |

Q. I recently discovered that my husband has been not only viewing porn on the internet, but also “chatting” with multiple women. I even found e-mails where he refers to me as his “soon to be ex” and exchanged phone numbers, and talked about times to meet, etc. When I confronted him, he swears that all of this is fantasy…

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Can I Withhold Sex from my Spouse?

By Leslie Vernick | September 2, 2008 |

Question: Do you ever recommend withholding sex as a consequence for destructive behavior? Laura in FL Answer: I don’t recommend a spouse withhold sex anymore than I would recommend that he or she withhold talking when angry. Touching and talking are the only channels that intimacy is expressed and experienced. If someone cuts off those channels when they are angry,…

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Help, my daughter told me she is gay!

By Leslie Vernick | July 21, 2008 |

Dear Blog Readers: I apologize for my absence from my blog. My daughter recently got married and I took some time off just to be a “mom” and plan and recover from the wedding. It was great! If you want to see a picture, sign up for my newsletter at my home page A photo will be in August’s…

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My Husband Makes Me Feel Like an Object

By Leslie Vernick | March 26, 2008 |

Question: I’ve been married for 25 years to an emotionally and verbally abusive man. I feel angry and bitter toward him for the way he treats me. Yet, he still expects me to be loving and affectionate with him, especially in bed. I can’t do it. What does God expect me to do? (Rita in MO) Answer: No one likes…

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