Toxic Love

Good morning friends,

I was away this weekend, writing and relaxing. The beach is a perfect place to do both. I’m going to do something a little different. Instead of answering a question, I’m going to ask you a few. I want to share something one of my friends wrote that I thought fit in perfectly with what we often talk about in this blog. My good friends Pam and Bill Farrell wrote a book, 10 Best Decisions a Single can Make. In it they rewrote 1 Corinthians 13. Listen to what it says:

“Toxic is impatient and unkind. Toxic is always envious and jealous. Toxic
boasts and is self-glorifying. Toxic is arrogant and proud, self-centered
and rude. Toxic easily loses its temper and keeps track of all offenses and
holds a grudge. Toxic is thrilled when people look and feel stupid. Toxic
loves a mistake because she can tell everyone of the error and replay it
over and over. Toxic runs to evil, never protects others, and gives up on
people and life easily.”

What a perfect description of an unhealthy person and unhealthy relationship. But I bet all of us could see some elements of ourselves in it as well. We don’t have to be in a toxic relationship to fall short of loving well. So today, prayerfully read through the characteristics of toxic love and ask yourself these three (3) questions:

  1. What ways have I been toxic or unloving toward the people I love?
  2. When I see that I have been toxic or have been told I’m hurting someone, do I take responsibility for myself or do I blame shift, get defensive or make excuses?
  3. What is one thing I can intentionally work on this week to love better? Write it down, share it with at least one other person, and ask him or her to hold you accountable to actually practice loving in this new way.

For example, I am going to work on being more patient and kind toward my husband. Lately in my busyness I’ve been rushed and can act like he’s bothering me, when he simply is trying to ask me a question or have a conversation. Our relationship is not toxic, but my love has fallen short lately. So I’m asking you, my blog friends to hold me accountable and I’ll let you know next week in what ways I practiced greater patience.

Perhaps you’d like to share what one thing you’re going to work on this week, too.

 

1 Comment

  1. Susan on October 3, 2012 at 8:47 pm

    Leslie would you recommend the book “10 Best Decisions a single can make ” ? I am a divorced single mom struggling to redefine my life after being married for over 20 yrs.

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