Happy Labor Day Everyone
I hope you enjoyed today and didn’t labor too much. What wonderful weather we had this weekend here. I opened my windows and let the breeze blow fresh cool air into my stuffy house. Don’t you wish we could do the same thing with our heart? Just open the window and let God breath in fresh air into the stale and stinky places?
As a matter of fact, that’s just what He promises to do if we let him. Our part is to surrender and submit, his part is the refreshing and restoring. Take a moment just to meditate on Psalm 23 – the first few verses. I’m going to write it in Nan Merrill’s Psalms for Praying that I’ve been using in my own devotional time.
O my Beloved, you are my shepherd,
I shall not want;
You bring me to green pastures
And lead me beside still waters
Renewing my spirit,
You restore my soul.
You lead me in the path of
To follow Love’s way.
If you are not on my newsletter mailing list, you’ll want to be. My September newsletter is going out Tuesday (tomorrow) and the topic is A Time to Say NO! You won’t want to miss it.
Plus there a lot of other news, but one of the most exciting pieces of news is that we have 5 new videos on my facebook fan page on women dealing with stress, emotional overload and conflict. My colleagues, Georgia Shaffer and Catherine Hart Weber joined me for a panel discussion, sort of like TV’s The View about these topics.
But being a novice on Facebook, we loaded them wrong, so just look for number #1 first because they are out of order. We discovered once you load them on to your facebook page,it’s impossible to change the order without unloading them.
Over the past few months I have received a slew of questions from women in abusive marriages. Do I need to take him back? How long do I wait for change to show itself? Does God expect me to stay for better or for worse?
So this week instead of answering another reader's question, I'm going to share with you a letter I received from a gentleman who responded to a blog I previously wrote called, A Biblical Response to Domestic Violence. If you'd like to read that blog first, go to:
Society for Christian Psychology Blog
Below is his response. It is an open letter to women who are married to abusive husbands. This is what he wrote:
1. Leave – until you leave, the abuse will continue. No matter how much the person protests or promises change, LEAVE! If not for you, then for your children. I learned watching my father beat my mother. It was my choice though to abuse my wife.
2. Get authority involved IMMEDIATELY–police, minister, social worker. As an abuser, the hardest step is taking responsibility, admitting and accepting it was all my fault. Turning myself in set me on the path to salvation.
3. Until you hear the words “It is my fault not yours. You are a God-given gift that I have sinned against and I will never sin against you again” do not believe he has changed. After this is said, you may hope but it took over three years for healing to occur in my case.
4. Never be alone with the person until you feel safe, see an actual change in the person (no enabling, true change not rose-eyed hope!)
5. DO NOT ACCEPT VIOLENCE IN A RELATIONSHIP EVER!
His response says it all. It reminds me of Edmund Burke’s statement, “all that is necessary for evil to triumph is that good men (or women) do nothing”.
It is time to say NO to the sin of domestic abuse!